keepsthemsafe | Firsty Entry

[Barge, here is Shane. Sitting in zero wearing his shirt, left open, rubbing his head looking contrite. When he speaks, it's in a southern drawl with an edge to it, he hasn't had to soften his words in a long time.]

Hello to space ship rehab, home of zombies [Yes the word is mis-pronounced], bad ass blonde ladies who want to be cops apparently and...safety.

[This is so weird, Shane folds his hands in front of him.] My name is Shane Walsh, broadcastin' from...the hole. Or at least your equivalent of the hole because I made a little bit of a mistake an' attacked a guy when I arrived. In my defense, I thought he was a walker - no excuse me a zoombie simply because...

[zoombies are everywhere].

I'm given to understand however that this place has no walkers that are ready to attack, no rovin' bands of people lookin' to harm what's yours, and there's no demented CDC doctor waitin' til this place counts the fuck down before filling the air with some kind of anti-disease measure that will literally burn us all alive. Is this correct?

If I'm wrong about any of these things, I would appreciate a head's up or some kind of warning. Either way, I wish to issue an apology to the guy who I beat. [He sounds sincere.] You don't know me and I don't know you, and it ain't fair for a man to take advantage of another in a moment of weakness so...I apologize for harmin' you. Think of it like spookin' a horse, 'cept this horse shoulda known better.

[Yep. He nods. He can be a big man about this.]

So I'm honestly curious. Is there actually no-strings attached alcohol and food here along with hot water?

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[Ignoring the assertion, Dean chews on that for a moment.]

Huh. Doesn't leave us much time then.

Tell me about your walkers.

What's there t'say? They die, they get back up, they bite you and you die.

[Dean blows out an impatient breath. Civilians. They miss the details and this is why they end up dead.]

How long does it take, is there a way to keep 'em in the ground, are they intelligent, etc.

Come on, man, deets.

[Shane stares at him for a long time. You sound like Rick. So his answer is snappish and...by the book.]

Suspects do not demonstrate any sense of intelligence, awareness of the environment beyond instant need. Suspects do not respond to verbal threats or demands, Suspects do not indicate a preference for authority, a memory of race, creed, nationality or basic human societal rules. Suspects devour human flesh and tend toward herd animal instincts.

There's no way to keep them in the ground.

[Dean blinks but, not one to be out-Fuck-You'd in any genre, nods shortly and rolls with it.]

At ease, soldier. Officer. Agent. [He considers for a moment, then shakes his head.] Strike agent. Anyway: how long's it been going on?

...Hey, I could be a fuckin' agent. I coulda. [No you couldn't Shane you barely passed the academy.]

A year. almost two.

Uh huh. [All the belief, Shane. No really.

Aaaaaand Dean is totally not going to be reacting to that at all, instead he goes with his usual standby coping mechanism:]

So, you'd be the guy to ask about the shelf life of Twinkies, then.

25 days.

[there's something dark in his look] there's not...a lot of processed food left. Most've what we get is in cans. Corn, beans, that kind of thing. Then whatever meat we can find.

25 days? That's it? I've had 'em sitting in my glovebox for longer and survived eating 'em.

[Of course, he still shudders sympathetically.]

That was quick.

Yeah well when the CDC guy was tryin' t'hold us hostage before blowin' us up I didn' really stop to think about the details or know anything more then that.

[This is a man who saw civilization.]

Wait, what?

[Too much information all at once, and Dean wasn't there, Shane.]

...Government knew most about the infection. I sort of missed paying attention. And the one time we got a chance t'talk to a guy he was crazy.

Yeah, uh, that sounds about par for the course.

your world have somethin' similar?

Government everywhere seems to exist to keep shit from people.

Crazy gets mixed in there fairly often, too.

Firsty Entry

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