keepsthemsafe | Firsty Entry

[Barge, here is Shane. Sitting in zero wearing his shirt, left open, rubbing his head looking contrite. When he speaks, it's in a southern drawl with an edge to it, he hasn't had to soften his words in a long time.]

Hello to space ship rehab, home of zombies [Yes the word is mis-pronounced], bad ass blonde ladies who want to be cops apparently and...safety.

[This is so weird, Shane folds his hands in front of him.] My name is Shane Walsh, broadcastin' from...the hole. Or at least your equivalent of the hole because I made a little bit of a mistake an' attacked a guy when I arrived. In my defense, I thought he was a walker - no excuse me a zoombie simply because...

[zoombies are everywhere].

I'm given to understand however that this place has no walkers that are ready to attack, no rovin' bands of people lookin' to harm what's yours, and there's no demented CDC doctor waitin' til this place counts the fuck down before filling the air with some kind of anti-disease measure that will literally burn us all alive. Is this correct?

If I'm wrong about any of these things, I would appreciate a head's up or some kind of warning. Either way, I wish to issue an apology to the guy who I beat. [He sounds sincere.] You don't know me and I don't know you, and it ain't fair for a man to take advantage of another in a moment of weakness so...I apologize for harmin' you. Think of it like spookin' a horse, 'cept this horse shoulda known better.

[Yep. He nods. He can be a big man about this.]

So I'm honestly curious. Is there actually no-strings attached alcohol and food here along with hot water?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Safe is kind of variable, and I wouldn't rule out the possibility of us stopping somewhere with zombies at some point, but no, there aren't any zombies just running around the Barge.

...Well, maybe Arthas, but... [She shrugs eloquently. That's different, she supposes.]

...Arthas? [Right to the point] Who's Arthas?

You know him when you see him. Or smell him. But he won't, like, chase you and moan, 'braaaaaaaaains'. He can be a creep, but not like that. At least, not that I'm aware of.

You shouldn't attack or try to kill him, anyway.

Also there are vampires here but that's different too.

...Again, don't attack or try to kill anyone no matter what they are. We're all here for a reason.

...'m thinkin' there's safety here and you're tellin' me there's a walker around? What's this brains bullshit they don' talk.

[There's a small, small edge to his voice] Plus vampires? You're shittin' me.

[Big, howdy grin for the new guy. Straightforward? Dean can do straightforward and to the point.]

And they say I've watched too many Romero films. Look, what she means is there's no one contagious on board, so no headshots because you don't like the way someone's looking at you.

I don't know what a walker is, but Arthas talks like anyone else.

I think he's just technically... not alive by most normal standards.

Look, the main thing is, you can't just go attacking people on sight. Okay? There are no mindless monsters here to eat you. Unless we go to a port with some. But you'll know if that happens.

...How will I know?

[There's a real sense of unease] They going to hand out weapons to those of us who need to defend themselves?

[No. Don't give him a weapon. He does not need a weapon-as what happened with Kid should illustrate.]

...Who's Romero and how the fuck do you know...this is about the zoombies?

Nobody better be lookin' at me funny then. I'm not gonna try that. You ever woken up in a strange place you never thought you'd see again and suddenly see somethin' out of the corner of your eye shufflin' and making noises and..

[He shakes his head] No. Thank you.

You'll always know when we go to a port. It's impossible to miss.

Ports are always different, though. Sometimes they're nice. Often they're dangerous, in different ways. But we always end up back here, no matter what.

Wow, someone's a bit on the twitchy side.

...you serious? [He frowns]

You don't know me from Adam friend. How the hell is that twitchy...

Because non-twitchy people don't ventilate other people who just haven't had coffee yet.

[It's okay, Shane. Dean is twitchy sometimes too.]

Is that what that guy said I did?

No. You're the one talking about people shuffling and making noise after you wake up.

[ Wait is someone--hang on is someone actually apologizing to him? What?

What? ]

Whatever, I coulda took you. [ That's close enough to a 'I forgive you' for Kid Blue's standards, anyway. ]

...Well, it's a one time thing. Waking up in a new place...That I never thought I'd see again.

...No, no you couldn't. But that's a sweet statement friend.

Maybe.

[Moving on.]

To answer some of your questions, no for 2.5 out of 3, yes for 2.5 out of 3, and hi, I'm Dean.

You're funny. [In a tone that says he's decidedly not]

Shane walsh.

What? You're fulla shit. I'm not a Gatman for nothin', I coulda got you if I wasn't disoriented.

...The fuck is a gatman.

I'm not a cop, I already told you that.

Act like one.

No, I don't. The only reason you're still alive is because I didn't want to spend my birthday in Zero.

Happy Birthday.

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