keepsthemsafe | Firsty Entry

[Barge, here is Shane. Sitting in zero wearing his shirt, left open, rubbing his head looking contrite. When he speaks, it's in a southern drawl with an edge to it, he hasn't had to soften his words in a long time.]

Hello to space ship rehab, home of zombies [Yes the word is mis-pronounced], bad ass blonde ladies who want to be cops apparently and...safety.

[This is so weird, Shane folds his hands in front of him.] My name is Shane Walsh, broadcastin' from...the hole. Or at least your equivalent of the hole because I made a little bit of a mistake an' attacked a guy when I arrived. In my defense, I thought he was a walker - no excuse me a zoombie simply because...

[zoombies are everywhere].

I'm given to understand however that this place has no walkers that are ready to attack, no rovin' bands of people lookin' to harm what's yours, and there's no demented CDC doctor waitin' til this place counts the fuck down before filling the air with some kind of anti-disease measure that will literally burn us all alive. Is this correct?

If I'm wrong about any of these things, I would appreciate a head's up or some kind of warning. Either way, I wish to issue an apology to the guy who I beat. [He sounds sincere.] You don't know me and I don't know you, and it ain't fair for a man to take advantage of another in a moment of weakness so...I apologize for harmin' you. Think of it like spookin' a horse, 'cept this horse shoulda known better.

[Yep. He nods. He can be a big man about this.]

So I'm honestly curious. Is there actually no-strings attached alcohol and food here along with hot water?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Have a laugh] And how would a woman handle a dishonest woman?

How does a man handle a dishonest man?

It depends on the dishonesty.

[In shane's case, he was stabbed through the heart]

Exactly.

[Sounds about right.]

[Shane sits up, considering the image before answering - the epitome of a southern gentleman]

May I have your name?

[Except for the misogyny and the assumptions, perfectly gentlemanly!]

Depends what you're going to do with it.

[Shane looks, licks his lips, and chuckles softly] My grand-daddy used to say that ma'am only goes so far with a woman and you owe it to her to respect the name her momma and daddy gave her.