SECOND ENTRY - [text]

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane, it's safe to say...has been absent. There's not enough soap in the world, and of course he's not going to go get help. This isn't the CDC, nobody wants to kill him but Oh dear god this place might be worse then the CDC.

And what's worse is Lori. He knew she was there, he felt her. He felt her. And how that ended...]

So much for safety am I right? Is this a regular thing? A driver that takes people up to hotels that like to fuck with your head?

I understand that in order for one of the inmates to make demands they require a warden to ask for items. Am I right about that?

I want to speak with one of them.

[Via text. Nobody is getting video. There's a reason for this.]

[INMATE SHOWER SPAM]

[It's a safe bet to say that Shane hasn't moved from the shower since that happened. There's not enough soap or hot water. He alternates between sitting underneath the scalding hot water, drying off, standing outside and then...heading back in and drowning himself in steaming hot water and soap.

Nothing to be done, or so he figures. It's almost out of his system, he hopes. He's almost forgotten it. You can catch him either in the shower trying to drown himself or outside trying to resist the urge to walk back in with a grim and haggard expression on himself.]

Comments

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

...Well at least you're honest about it.

How about publicizing that fact to everyone so you don't give people false hope.

text;

[buildindreemz]

I've never seen anyone here given 'false hope'. No one has ever said this place is full of sunshine and unicorns and rainbows. You don't die here, and sometimes you get messed with or turned into something else for a few days. That's about as honest as it gets.

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

Yeah but how do you know? Never said you specifically did. Might be somebody might think this place is a place of safety or at least better then what they're leaving.

I can't even touch that...not...dying part. I just can't.

text;

[buildindreemz]

Some people do think it's better than what they had where they came from. That's not dishonesty. It's just different perspectives. Everyone here comes from different circumstances. And like I said, no one knew what that port was going to do until it happened. We don't get warned about those things.

I died. It hurts like hell, but... Well, it just hurts like hell. Better than staying dead, I suppose. I'm only 24, I'd like to stay alive so I can go back home and do stuff. Living stuff.

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

...That's not right. And none of you can do anything?

text;

[buildindreemz]

We can choose how to react to it, whether to let it eat away at us or to learn from it and be better for it.

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

That's awfully zen for the fact that...you died.

do you realize that? You died. How many other people've died here? And just come back like that?

text;

[buildindreemz]

A lot of people here have died. Many people here died in their home worlds before they showed up here.

It's not the first time I've died here, either.

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

...So what makes you any different from - pardon the comparison - but a zombie?

I died before coming here, are you telling me that I'm still...going to come back?

text;

[buildindreemz]

Uh, let's see. The fact that I'm not a rotting corpse, the fact that I don't want to eat people, the fact that I'm still me with all my feelings and thoughts and memories?

From what I understand, if you graduate, you'll get some options about where to go and what to do. You don't have to go back to your home world. You get a second chance at life.

That seems about as far from being a zombie as someone can get.

Re: text;

[keepsthemsafe]

...Yeah but you openly accept that you die on a regular basis and the first thing you tell me when a man says he's sorry you die is "that's how it is here"..

[There's a very long pause...and Shane switches to video. He's outside the inmate showers, fully clothed.]

Look the more you have to survive the more you have to accept that civilization's a construct. You're telling me you're okay with someone killin' you on a regular basis?

...that's dead.

Memories and rottin' corpses don't make a walker. Or a zombie.

Acceptin' that your life's just...to be tossed up for nothin'.

That's dead.

[He's being harsh, and cold, and...sincere. Very sincere.]

voice;

[buildindreemz]

[Ariadne switches to voice; it's the easiest for her to do right now and she hates showing her face on the network when she's death-tolling.

She sounds tired.]

I don't get killed on a regular basis. No one here just accepts it and lets it happen. The Barge is a dangerous place sometimes, that's all. The death-toll is a fail-safe for when stuff gets really bad. It's there to protect us, so we don't just let everything be in vain.

I'm not throwing my life away for nothing. Do you not understand what we're doing here, or why? I'm here to help someone back home, and when I'm done, I'm going back there, to make sure he's better, and then I'm going to live my life. I'm going to be an architect, and I'm going to move in with my boyfriend, and it's going to be a good life because I made my deal and I helped some people and that's not throwing anything away, asshole.

Re: voice;

[keepsthemsafe]

...Do you like livin' in a dream world? is it nice there? Living in fantasy and lies?

...How do you not see what's wrong with this?

voice;

[buildindreemz]

[That gets a vague snort out of her, actually.]

Don't talk about what you don't understand. This isn't a dream.

I see a lot of problems with this system. I also see a bunch of people trying to help others as best they can, despite those problems. You've been given a second chance. What part of that is wrong, exactly?

Re: voice;

[keepsthemsafe]

I'm not free and I'm in danger second chance or not.

...I thought I'd-

Forget it.

voice;

[buildindreemz]

Life is dangerous. So what? Life is taking risks.

You're stuck here, sure. That's less than ideal, but it's also not arbitrary, and it's a system that I've seen work. If you want to take that second chance.

If not, then I guess eventually you'll be kicked back to whatever it is you came from. Death, or whatever.

Re: voice;

[keepsthemsafe]

[He was killed by his best friend after planning to kill him. Still.]

See that's the kind of attitude you guys should start out with.

voice;

[buildindreemz]

Everyone has different needs. It's impossible to know who needs what right off the bat.

Re: voice;

[keepsthemsafe]

You give people a chance to defend themselves, let them know what's in and what's what.

There's no peace. There's no survival. it was fucking stupid of me to think so.

voice;

[buildindreemz]

Defend yourself against what? The guy with the limp who looks like a strong gust of wind would make him puke his guts out? Or the hallucinations that hotel threw at us?

The second chance is why you're here. Of course it's survival. Graduating means getting a new life. It means peace, if that's what you want. That's the point. What part of that don't you understand? Just chill the fuck out, go to medical if you're injured, and try to get some rest.

Re: voice;

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane looks distinctly uneasy, uncomfortable and uneasy.

Because there's the heart of it. When you survive? when you live on the edge of everything Everything is a threat.


Even she's a threat. Video for him he's...he suddenly spasms, runs a hand over his head. He's shaking.]

Sure. whatever.

[The camera remains on until he walks into the showers again and turns the thing off.]